This is a long one. Pick and choose which ones you would like to answer, or make/paste another survey.

1. Your friend tells you you have a drug problem, you say:
You have a face problem

2. What's bothering you?
I'm compelled to answer these questions. And sporks. (Choose a side!)

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No. I sleep with nothing on.

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the jug?
My mom's jugs.

5. What color are your nails painted?
they aren't.

6. Are you a fast typer?
fast enough

7. Afraid of the dark?
The dark, no. The monster hiding in the dark, a little.

8. What color is your house or home?
Red bricks with off whie accents.

9. Last text message you received?
A workmate asking when we have to report back. (How can you not know!)

10. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
A few days ago, I guess.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Probably losing at scrabble.

12. Are you drinking anything right now?
coffee

13. Ever been to Disney World?
Yes, but not when I was a kid.

14.Been out of the country?
Yes

15. What cell phone company do you use?
survey?

16. Last place you went?
out to dinner and the food store last night.

17. Do you know the muffin man?
I did. Long, sad story. (turns out he wasn't a man, but a muffin. And he didn't know nuthin')

18. Do you talk in your sleep?
I hope not.

19. Are you double jointed?
No, i'm single jointed.

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
yes - often

21. When was the last time you went swimming and where?
summer, at our apartment's pool.

22. Any unusual talents?
I control the Matrix

23. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
Not many. It's a new phone, and I haven't gotten around to filling it in.

24. Have you ever asked for a horse?
Everyday

25. Plans for tomorrow?
I really should get stuff done.

27. Missing someone right now?
Always.

28. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
This morning

29. Ever make a condom balloon?
Thank you, no.

30. What color is your car?
darkish red

31. What smells are around you?
coffee and cat food

32. Do you use MySpacePhotos.com to send comments?
shut up

33. What are you looking forward to?
I've had to think way too hard about this...NEXT

34. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I tried. 2nd storey. I was drunk and trying to get to Bristol. I was stopped.

35. Have you ever eaten dog food?
no.

36. Ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen?
No. All of my closest friends are single. You all wouldn't want to consider getting married so that I might have to opportunity to wear a peach party dress, huh? Selfish whores.

37. Can you handle the truth?
listen, i live with the truth every goddamn day. i can handle it. but i won't pretend to fucking like it. (I'm keeping em's answer here).

38. Have you ever eaten green eggs and ham?
Let us not be silly.

39. What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?
i'm not that consistent. "If it were't fixed to me shoulders, I'd forget what day of the week it is."

40. Any cool scar?
Hur. ya. third eye scar.

41. Have you ever taken illegal drugs?
oh, i've taken them. what kind of retarded question is that? (again, i'll stick with e's)

42. What was your 1st dog's name?
Pepe Le Pew

43. What jewelry are you wearing?
none.

44. How often do you talk on the phone?
once or twice a week. I don't like phones.

45. Do you believe in love?
There has to be a better way to ask this question.

46. Who's called you the most today?
nobody has called me today.

47. Are you happy with life?
that depends on whose life you are talking about.

48. What do you like?
walks in the park and jousting (that's why I want a horse)

49. Who did you last talk to?
Steve

50. Is your mom your BFF?
My mom is friends with no one.

51. How many kids do you want?
just one. a girl, please.

52. What was the last thing you ate?
chinese food.

53. Orange or blue?
shut up

54. Last movie you watched?
Sweeny Todd, followed 30 minutes later by I Am Legend (so, I guess, I am Legend)

55. What song are you currently listening to?
Random Tori Amos covers.

56. What do you want?
grilled cheese sandwich. (looks around) This isn't a wish list, is it? *angry face*

57. Who was the last person you ate your favorite food with?
When we visited home a few weeks ago, my in-laws picked up some Chico's Tacos for our homecoming. mmm, slop! nom nom!

58. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
my sister.

1. Your friend tells you you have a drug problem, you say:
Your point being?

2. What's bothering you?
Nothing. *smile for effect*

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Most of the time.

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the jug?
Duh, it's my jug, fuck off.

5. What color are your nails painted?
I don't know what colour the nail fairy who breaks into my house and paints them at night uses cause it's invisible nail paint, smells like soap though.

6. Are you a fast typer?
Sort of but I'm not good with the numbers, never needed them much and so I can't utilize them with great speed, the keypad is different story.

7. Afraid of the dark?
Hells no.

8. What color is your house or home?
White.

9. Last text message you received?
you have $2x.xx dollars remaining on your account.

10. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
A year ago, give or take a few months.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Trying to get to sleep.

12. Are you drinking anything right now?
Nope.

13. Ever been to Disney World?
Nope.

14.Been out of the country?
Yah

15. What cell phone company do you use?
survey? LG-phone, luv their products, and At&t gophone

16. Last place you went?
Does work count?

17. Do you know the muffin man?
When I was a kid we grew apart though.

18. Do you talk in your sleep?
No, but people can wake me up get me to say something or tell me something and I may very well not recall any of it.

19. Are you double jointed?
Only if you break something on me.

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
As a spoiled youth.

21. When was the last time you went swimming and where?
Egads, my pool years ago.

22. Any unusual talents?
None worth mentioning.

23. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
5-6 I don't know many people plus I still have the old full of numbers I'm too lazy to port over.

24. Have you ever asked for a horse?
no

25. Plans for tomorrow?
Sure.


27. Missing someone right now?
No this second.

28. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Oh gawd, not ansering that.

29. Ever make a condom balloon?
Tried=failed.

30. What color is your car?
Silver

31. What smells are around you?
None, maybe death.

32. Do you use MySpacePhotos.com to send comments?
Ha!

33. What are you looking forward to?
No comment.

34. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Many times.

35. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Does tasting it count?

36. Ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen?
Yes the marriage failed I'm good luck I think.

37. Can you handle the truth?
Yes, can you?

38. Have you ever eaten green eggs and ham?
Really, that's your 38th question?

39. What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?
Me, myself and I.

40. Any cool scar?
Not really cool but in the middle of my forehead.

41. Have you ever taken illegal drugs?
Taken them where?

42. What was your 1st dog's name?
Not mine but ours was Sultan.

43. What jewelry are you wearing?
Don't wear jewelry.

44. How often do you talk on the phone?
Once and while, not often.

45. Do you believe in love?
Yes.

46. Who's called you the most today?
Today, some telemarketer I think I don't answer the phone and they don't leave a message.

47. Are you happy with life?
Not really.

48. What do you like?
Cosas.

49. Who did you last talk to?
Margaret.

50. Is your mom your BFF?
Hell no.

51. How many kids do you want?
I'm open how many do you want and plz send pics.

52. What was the last thing you ate?
Chicken.

53. Orange or blue?
Blue.

54. Last movie you watched?
I can't recall.

55. What song are you currently listening to?
I'm not.

56. What do you want?
Like you or I have the time to get into that.

57. Who was the last person you ate your favorite food with?
No one.

58. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
Dave.

1. Most of my friends do drugs, so they really can't say shit.

2. Nothing.

3. Sometimes.

4. Of course.

5. none

6. kinda

7. no

8. white

9. i dont hav texting. im broke

I don't have the energy to complete this.

Bear wrote:

1. Most of my friends do drugs, so they really can't say shit. 2. Nothing. 3. Sometimes. 4. Of course. 5. none 6. kinda 7. no 8. white 9. i dont hav texting. im broke I don't have the energy to complete this.

And you want to be our moderator, for shame.

rat253 wrote:

Bear wrote: 1. Most of my friends do drugs, so they really can't say shit. 2. Nothing. 3. Sometimes. 4. Of course. 5. none 6. kinda 7. no 8. white 9. i dont hav texting. im broke I don't have the energy to complete this. And you want to be our moderator, for shame.

Reading posts is easier than typing that much.

I don't wanna hear it.

1. Your friend tells you you have a drug problem, you say:
I wish.

2. What's bothering you?
Work, health, lovelife.

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nah, sometimes my ipod.. Wigfield puts me to sleep

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the jug?
No, coke yes, milk no.

5. What color are your nails painted?
My toes are cherry red with snowmen.

6. Are you a fast typer?
Around 80 wpm

7. Afraid of the dark?
No, not at all.

8. What color is your house or home?
red brick, white trim

9. Last text message you received?
There is an unauthorized intrusion in a building in Houston and a high temperature alarm in a building in Dallas.. and Roslyn is sick with the flu so she's not coming in to work today.

10. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
About two weeks ago when I was feeling bad.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Duh.. I was right here.

12. Are you drinking anything right now?
Vitamin Water.

13. Ever been to Disney World?
Yeah, a couple of times. I like the 3D stuff.

14.Been out of the country?
Mexico, Canada, Argentina, Italy, England, Scotland, France, Spain, Denmark, Norway, Finland, Sweden, Estonia, Russia, Caymans, Jamaica, Costa Rica

15. What cell phone company do you use?
Verizon Wireless

16. Last place you went?
Run On for new shoes and Walgreens for water and gum.

17. Do you know the muffin man?
Does he live on Drury Lane?

18. Do you talk in your sleep?
No, sometimes I yell though. Pretty scary.

19. Are you double jointed?
No.

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
I love flying kites. Been a few years.

21. When was the last time you went swimming and where?
In my pool, last summer..

22. Any unusual talents?
Nope.

23. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
I dunno, a hundred or so I guess.

24. Have you ever asked for a horse?
yeah, long time ago.

25. Plans for tomorrow?
Work.


27. Missing someone right now?
Nah, oh yeah, Otis and Mr. Jaz haha

28. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Oh, hmm I told Jack Cafferty, on his blog, does that count? LOL

29. Ever make a condom balloon?
heck no

30. What color is your car?
Very noticeable blue with a white top.. the toyota fj

31. What smells are around you?
Popcorn

32. Do you use MySpacePhotos.com to send comments?
nope

33. What are you looking forward to?
being in NYC and seeing Stephen

34. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Oh yeah. Not lately.

35. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Bleck.. no way.

1. Your friend tells you you have a drug problem, you say:
You're on drugs

2. What's bothering you?
Exactly

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the jug?
no. carton's different story

5. What color are your nails painted?
none

6. Are you a fast typer?
depends on the type, I was sometimes pretty fast

7. Are you afraid of the dark?
just the monsters ( misfit)

8. What color is your house or home?
yes

9. Last text message you received?
no

10. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
yes

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
never

12. Are you drinking anything right now?
no

13. Ever been to Disney World?
no

14.Been out of the country?
yes

15. What cell phone company do you use?
I beg your pardon..

16. Last place you went?
yes?

17. Do you know the muffin man?
The muffin man?

18. Do you talk in your sleep?
I talk in my old boyfriend's sleep

19. Are you double jointed?
Never, and nowadays it's just a hit or two on occasion

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
been as high as one

21. When was the last time you went swimming and where?
Pathologists' annual barbecue

22. Any unusual talents?
I short-circuit 10% of the streetlights I walk under.

23. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
Only ones my Husband put there. Like I care.

24. Have you ever asked for a horse?
I once had a friend who would demand them and get them

25. Plans for tomorrow?
That's the question.

27. Missing someone right now?
Just as I was looking at this, my Husband called from his hotel room in Bengaluru. That's 28 hours from airport drop-off to hotel room, no lolly-gagging.

28. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Oh. I don't think I told him I loved him
He's too freakin jet-lagged to register that, I hope.

29. Ever make a condom balloon?
Uh, no.

30. What color is your car?
I never identified with this car

31. What smells are around you?
candy hearts

33. What are you looking forward to?
My son's goddamned IEP, in a Couldn't-I-Just-Kill-Someone-Instead kind of way

34. Have you ever crawled through a window?
In every house I've ever lived in since I was seven.

35. Have you ever eaten dog food?
not knowingly

36. Ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen?
Yes. I've worn the dress to costume parties.

37. Can you handle the truth?
Do you know the truth?

38. Have you ever eaten green eggs and ham?
Yes. Really.

39. What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?
jewelry, identification and an exit strategy

40. Any cool scar?
only identifying ones

41. Have you ever taken illegal drugs?
they've always been offered

42. What was your 1st dog's name?
Answering that is a security risk

43. What jewelry are you wearing?
Pearl snowmen earrings

44. How often do you talk on the phone?
hardly ever and too much

45. Do you believe in love?
What about it?

46. Who's called you the most today?
Husband.

47. Are you happy with life?
what kind of a pointless question is that?

48. What do you like?
walls. lots of them. everywhere I look. and more are coming.

49. Who did you last talk to?
my son

50. Is your mom your BFF?
Baffling and freaking fatiguing?

51. How many kids do you want?
I think I'll keep my son

52. What was the last thing you ate?
Lox, Buffalo mozzarella and wasabi cheddar

53. Orange or blue?
blue

54. Last movie you watched?
I Am Legend (Zombie, Zombie. Zombie, Zombie... Vermont!)

55. What song are you currently listening to?
"Slit Skirts" by Pete Townshend, now "I Think I See the Light" by Yusuf Islam (from "An Other Cup").

56. What do you want?
What do you want??? -oh.. I chose to do this myself... right.

57. Who was the last person you ate your favorite food with?
I don't have a favorite food.. and the talk is a bit disturbing...

58. Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
Husband. Aren't you paying attention? ...oh. right. I think this questionnaire is getting way too long... and now it's done.